A downloadable dissociated mess for Windows, macOS, and Linux

a FULL adaptation of the text of Epistle 3, believed to be the synopsis to the unreleased game Half Life 3, from a person who has never finished a Half Life game.

"shloud not even exist" -- dommy9111

FEATURES:

  • weird funerals
  • a gun that can shoot everything
  • this weird heartbeat sound in your left ear
  • Combine soldiers
  • dissociation
  • the BREENGRUB
  • gross misunderstandings of lore
  • THAT SNEERING TRICKSTER, G-MAN

AS SEEN ON WAYPOINT I FUCKIN GUESS HOT DAMN
ALSO AS SEEN ON KOTAKU??? WHAT THE HELL
AND, FUCKIN, IGN I GUESS???????

Install instructions

fuckin..... download the file, unpack it, and run the executable

if you get the error "The application “EPISTLE 3” can’t be opened" on mac you can circumvent it by Right Clicking > Show Package Contents, then go to Contents > MacOS > EPISTLE 3 (which you Right Click > Open) (thanks brian)

Download

Download
EPISTLE 3 WINDOWS.zip 28 MB
Download
EPISTLE 3 WINDOWS 32 BIT.zip 26 MB
Download
EPISTLE 3 MAC.zip 30 MB
Download
EPISTLE 3 LINUX.zip 32 MB

Comments

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I.Hate.You

(+1)

wher e  did you get that cool url

(+2)

i can't believe u've done this........

(+2)

ah, fuck

(+2)

this very immersive experience and excellent conclusion to the series was marred only by the inability to finally have gordon and barney confess their desire to be more than friends

9.5/10

off to ao3

(+2)

linux build seems to have a bug where the first groundshootin message gets stuck on screen forever and i can't read anythnig else

That's super weird... Were you playing in fullscreen?

Yep, fullscreen 1920x1080 max settings

I've heard of problems with Unity and mouse controls with fullscreen... try playing it in windowed mode, if possible?

(Edited 2 times) (+1)

Nope, it's the same

I shoot the ground, get the appropriate message, and then that's the only message I ever get

Ubuntu 17.10 GNOME Nvidia GTX1070, um, on a Ryzen chip that I forget the exact designation

(+1)

(i tried playing in windowed mode and the bug was the same, in case that wasn't clear)

(+1)

This game is very funny! I know you say you haven't played any of the games, and I believe that, but I love how aware of characterizations you are regardless. Every response feels 'right'!

(+1)(-2)

Marry me.

(+4)

no

(+3)(-1)

i haven't played this game although I'm not sure if that's very much of a different ontological position then the rest of the people in this comments section.

(+2)

thank you for your honesty! blood

(+5)

Finally, the epic conclusion to the Ham Flight series has arrived. Garden Feedham's epic journey finally comes to a close, giving hardcore fans the closure they've so desperately clamored for over the years.

(+3)

gave it a shot and rifled thru all the dialogue. a barrel of laughs that puts a lot of stock in the lore but doesn't make it the butt of the joke

Thanks for playing!

(Edited 1 time) (+1)

Never in my life I thought I'd want Half Life 3 as a first person shooter text adventure

(+4)

hey heather????? quick question heather????? quick question????? quick q heather?????

(+1)

yeah?

(+3)

how come???????????????????

(+3)

"God it's so late" - Gordon Freeman

(+8)

video game

(+7)

yes

(+2)

it's impossible to express how much i loved this. thank you for this gift. i wish it came bundled with all of the original games.

Thank you so much for playing!!

(+2)

You mad mad people. Like it :)


regards

wobblyfootgamer

http://www.youtube.com/wobblyfootgamer

Thank you for playing! :)

It's a pleasure :)

(+2)

one of the scenes nearly made my computer explode, but ALL of the scenes made my brain explode highly recommended

(+3)

FINALLY the epic conclusion that wraps everything up and now I can rest

(+1)(-4)

what the fuck is this shit ?

(+16)

it's Epistle 3.